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Going through a breakup can be hard, and everyone has a process to get over someone. Though you cannot learn how to get over someone through a book or something, many experts have given their advice on this process.
Everyone has a different process, but we naturally go through many phases when we go through a breakup as human beings. Recalling the five stages of grief, people often go through these stages after a breakup.
Below mentioned are a few ways to get over someone. However, these aren’t expert advice but can be helpful while going through a breakup.
Phases Post Breakup
Though the stages of every kind of grief are the same. Although the five stages might not be the same for everyone, there are two main phases.
Humans are an interactive species. When you open yourself to someone, and they leave, it can be hard to process such losses. The stress that we get can sometimes be overwhelming.
Grieving your lost relationship is a natural process that everyone goes through. Many therapists suggest embracing and accepting your feelings. Bottling up your feelings can only cause more emotional problems in the long run. The best way to get through any situation is to accept your emotions and let them out.
Many professional therapists discuss this major issue of bottling up your feelings. If you feel anger, sadness, or any other emotion, you should be able to express it and get through the situation in an emotionally healthy way.
Though grieving is different for everyone, it is important to get through your grieving process without hurting your mental health. Expressing your emotions in whatever way you can is important for mental healing and growth.
Many people ask but do not think of the fact that it takes time. Though just like all the other phases, the healing process can be different for everyone. It is as important as any other phase after a breakup. Just expressing your emotions might not help you enough but understanding your healing process can help you.
Validate your feelings when it comes to a relationship. You cannot just learn it overnight because it is a process that requires patience and constant effort. Though there are many ways to improve your healing process, you need to give your healing process time.
A lot of people have trouble letting go, and they reach out to relationship experts. Explaining your current status will help the therapist or other relationship experts help you figure out what’s best for you.
Feelings of happiness are bound to be found in every aspect of life. We tend to focus so much on the things we have lost that we forget the good parts of life. Friends and family are always there to help us through all the relationship mess.
Take hold of the other platonic relationships when going through the moving on phase. They help us in figuring out what’s best for us and also help us keep our minds off the negative things happening in life.
Eventually, you will realize your importance and learn to embrace yourself. Learning to love yourself is just as important as it is to get over someone. Loving and respecting yourself makes your mental health strong enough to get through such difficult situations.
5 Effective Steps To Get Over Someone
Moving on is not a simple process. As tough as it can be, you can do it if you keep your mind in check. Getting over someone can get hard in every way.
Letting go at the right time is just as important as grabbing the right opportunity. Moving forward is not possible if you don’t let go. Holding on to a feeling that hurts you for a long time will only cause you harm.
Any relationship ending due to any cause is hurtful. Platonic relationships ending can also be just as devastating as romantic relationships ending. Letting go gets harder if you don’t hate the other person. This is usually the case with the end of platonic relationships.
1. By Removing Physical Reminders
When the question is asked, the most suggested answer is to forget their existence and remember their self-worth. Forgetting someone is not easy when everything around you reminds you of them.
One common way most people are reminded of their exes is because of physical reminders. The gifts from the significant other, photographs, or even a book or a song are enough to break the dam and let the flood of memories come through.
The best way to avoid this is by getting rid of all the physical reminders that you can get your hands on. Throw that sweater, delete that picture, and block their Instagram. By doing this you’re reducing the chances of missing them.
It’s not possible to remove memories from our minds, it would’ve been easier if it was possible. The least we can do is remove the stuff that triggers those memories.
2. By Allowing Yourself to Feel Bad
Bottling up emotions is the worst thing you can do when trying to get over someone. When you permit yourself to feel the hurt, you give yourself room to grow. The most important thing to keep in mind is that the end of one relationship is not the end of the world.
A relationship expert would be the ideal person to take advice from while going through this phase. Many of them suggest therapy to allow yourself to feel the hurt and make you believe that it’s okay to let out your hurt in a healthy way. Stop blaming yourself for the things that were out of your control and try to embrace your insecurities.
Accept the fact that the emotions that you are feeling at the moment are completely valid. The pain will eventually go away. It’s not a matter of blatant blame waiting to be put on someone’s shoulder, it’s about the feeling that the thing that you are going through will only make you stronger. You need to understand without hurting your mental health.
3. By Reclaiming Your Self-Esteem
No matter how mutual the breakup was, it leaves you with a lot of doubts about yourself. It leaves us wondering if we are not good enough or maybe there’s something wrong with us. The negative beliefs against ourselves start to strengthen making us insecure about our true selves.
Think of it this way, if a person doesn’t appreciate you for the way you are, maybe you two aren’t meant for each other. The same person is not likely to change, but you’ll probably try to change yourself to make them like you.
If you try to change yourself too, you may be successful, but you will never be able to be your true self. Spending time pleasing them will make you realize how tiring it is to not be yourself.
So, it’s not your fault that someone doesn’t appreciate you the way you are. You’re perfect with your portions, so dust off your shoulders and restore your self-esteem.
4. By Developing A Support System
All that we can hope is to have healthy relationships in a person’s life, but as we all know, that’s not the way the world works. Having a comfort system to help you out when things go south will be a convenient way to set your heavy emotions aside.
Taking care of our mental health is just as important as taking care of our physical health. Do your comfort activity, listen to music, binge-watch some feel-good shows, dance around, or have your favorite food. If doing something makes you happy, as silly as it is, it need not make sense to others.
Having a support system or, even better, having a comfortable person is like having a cushion when you take a fall. A best friend or a family member, whoever will understand you and make you happy during this challenging time, is like the light at the end of the tunnel.
A good friend acts like a licensed therapist in such situations just because they have known you for such a long time that they begin to understand what’s good for you. You ask yourself well here’s your answer. Create a support system and follow through on it. You can easily learn to get over someone with a healthy support system.
5. Through Social Media
In these modern times, it’s almost impossible to avoid someone as everyone is on social networking apps. Social media acts the same way as physical reminders to trigger our memories.
It’s like living in a world with almost no closure. The least you can do is unfollow them or block them from your social media accounts. Rip the band-aid off your feelings and begin the moving-on process.
Accept the fact that the relationship is in the past and that eventually get over it. Feeling sad about something ending and not wanting it badly at the same time is a valid feeling. You only feel sad because you are accustomed to the life you had before, and you’re afraid of change.
It may be a hard pill to swallow that the relationship is over, but you need to focus on the reason for it to end. The want to take the blame is easy for you, but you need to practice self-love and realize not everything that happens is your fault.
6. By Practicing Self-Care
Take yourself out on dates. Go to the movies alone or with your friends. Find things that make you happy and incorporate them into your life. Fall in love with yourself. Only then will someone be able to accept who you truly are? You cannot let yourself wonder if you are good enough. Positive psychology will help you out in difficult times.
A lot of relationships and friendships break during our life. It’s not your fault that you grew apart from a person. It’s okay to limit yourself from people and focus on your future. Even if the person is not present in your future, that doesn’t make your life any less exciting or happy.
The relationship ends, but you need to objectively look at the pros of the end. You can’t be in the same place you were the day when you broke up. It’s important to get over someone for your mental peace.
Following the process, you won’t even realize when you’ve moved on. Everything falls into place when you decide to put yourself together. Given that things will be gloomy for a while, the sun does come up.
Taking an objective look at your past relationships, how many times has it felt like the end of the world? Yet, you survived and thrived. We tend to associate our relationships with our lives so much that when it ends, we end up feeling like our world is falling apart.
It might take you a while to put yourself together and get into a new relationship, but this time you know better than to hold yourself back. For the next time, portray your true self. If they don’t appreciate you, they’re probably not meant for you.
One person may not realize your worth, but someone will. They will accept you for what you are. They will make time for you, but you first take care of the time limit of various stages, and they will not hurt your feelings.
Research done in the United States says that most people go back to their toxic partners because they don’t know how to live a life that another person does not surround. They tend to focus so much on the other person that they forget to put themselves first.
If such a thing were to happen to you, focus on the fact that you are enough for yourself and the other person. If someone has a different perspective on you, maybe they are the problem. Life throws curve balls at us all the time. We need to keep up to get to the good part. The process can happen without you noticing.
You need to develop a positive outlook towards your breakup. Only then will you truly be able to move on.
Don’t Be Scared To Move On
With all this stigma around that, you need time to move on. It is a myth. The only thing that can decide how long it would take for you to move on from a certain person is you. If you feel like you’re holding yourself back, or you can’t picture yourself with someone new, chances are you are still not ready to move on.
Now, when this stuff happens, the best thing to do is give it a rest. Try not to think about things in a way that will make you think about the person you want to get over. It’s only natural to need some time to incorporate a major change in your life.
People often have a weird notion that getting over someone means getting together with someone new. This, however, is not the case. You can be single if you feel like it. Just don’t let things flow in a direction they don’t want to.
If you want to get together with someone new, go ahead. Likewise, if you want to remain single for a while and figure yourself out, do it. The only thing not to do is to force yourself to be with someone new, just to get over someone you miss.
When you say you want someone to like your ex, you indirectly say that you want them back. You only want someone similar to the person you’re trying to get over because you aren’t close to them anymore.
Don’t Hold Any False Hope.
The hope that you keep giving to yourself that magically someday, people will realize their mistakes and everything will be sorted is false. It’s weird how our mind knows the reality, but it’s still deceived by what the heart wants.
Let yourself feel all the emotions that the heart throws upon you. The only way to go through it is by going through it. If you keep pretending that you are not feeling hurt, you will keep lying to yourself, and this will only keep building up.
I am mentioning this interesting theory because the small particles clump together to form a major particle. The same is applicable when talking about hurt. The more you keep hiding away your hurt, the more it will increase and weigh you down.
The healing process is only going to start when you allow yourself to feel the hurt that you have felt in the past relationship. Negative emotions that surround you will only leave your side if you stir around the wand of healing.
Breaking The Habits Developed From The Past Relationship
There’s a fascinating book called ‘ Atomic Habits, ‘which states that the small habits are the ones that usually shape our lives. When you have been long enough with a person, it is only obvious that your habits build around them.
Suppose you used to go to the nearby cafe every Friday with your significant other. Every Friday you will be reminded of the other person who is not there.
You Were In A Platonic Relationship With?
We focus so much on romantic relationships, so we often tend to forget about platonic relationships. Relationships with friends and family can be tough sometimes. Things may not work out, and you may have a fallout with a loved one. Now, you have two options: you can either let that feeling consume you or break the habit by going to the same cafe by yourself.
This may feel weird and dumb at first, but soon enough, you will realize you are capable of going to that place by yourself. Once you’re comfortable going alone or with your friends, you will begin the healing.
Similarly, it’s not just about the cafe or other dates. It’s about every habit you build around your ex and breaking it. When you get into a habit of changing your habits, the things that used to remind you of them won’t anymore. The relief that you will feel after letting that emotional baggage go will help you out tons in moving on.
It’s tough because growing up. You always thought that you would have them forever. Only later on in life do you realize that’s not the truth? Sometimes things fall apart even when we don’t want them to. Closure is usually difficult in such cases.
The same steps will be useful for you to get over your loved ones. If having difficulty, try consulting a relationship coach. A relationship coach will help you attain calm in your life and will guide you through making the right chop pixels
Then, slowly bit by bit, you will move on without even knowing. The only thing to keep in mind is to give it time. It takes time to break a habit. Similarly, you will need time to get over someone. Believe me, when you do, it will be the best feeling in the world, and you will finally be able to be truly happy again.
Last Updated on December 24, 2023 by Namita Soren