Smart Couples Discuss These Important Issues

3 mins read
Young couple enjoying the sunset in the meadow.
Young couple enjoying the sunset in the meadow. Source: Depositphotos



What should women and men discuss before getting involved in long-term, serious relationships? While the list is short, the topics are as wide as a canyon and often just as deep. Things like whether to have children, how to handle joint finances, faith, and how to divide household chores usually top the list for most couples. What many people miss is the fact that several of the key relationship issues focus on earning, saving, spending, and dealing with money. 

Non-financial subjects are equally important, but for various reasons, couples tend to avoid dealing head-on with finances. Unfortunately, a significant number of break-ups are the result of money-related misunderstandings that could have easily been avoided through in-depth discussion. Whether you are planning to get married, engaged, or simply make a long-term commitment to a significant other, when you are making personal changes to your life, review the following points and make a plan to have an honest conversation about each one.

Student Loans

It’s rather common for working adults to have student loan obligations and make monthly payments on one or more obligations. Couples need to disclose their indebtedness if they want to build long-term trust. For many men and women, one of the best solutions to the education loan situation is refinancing. A brand-new agreement comes with one monthly payment for each borrower as well as potentially lower total payments, better terms, more advantageous rates, and more time to repay the total balance. Adults who opt for NaviRefi student loan refinancing can streamline and simplify their entire education debt situation via an online process in a matter of minutes.

Children

For centuries, prospective mates have delved into long talks about the pros and cons of having children, how many to have, and all permutations of the issue of offspring. In modern times, this topic gets short shrift in many cases because people assume it’s something they can put off until the last minute. In fact, it should be one of the earliest conversations you have with your future partner. Even if you don’t plan to marry, it’s essential to understand the other person’s views, feelings, and opinions about the subject.

At a minimum, find out what your potential mate’s opinion is about the idea of raising a family, how many children they think they might want, and whether they have special considerations about the process of educating youngsters. Even if you never marry or start a family, these kinds of exchanges can be revealing because they tell you a lot about the way the other person thinks, what their basic life philosophies are, and what they want out of a relationship.

Careers

Pretend you’re in an important job interview, and the hiring agent asks you to describe your long-term and short-term career goals. With that frame of mind, enter into a conversation with your significant other and tell the whole story, just as you would in a formal interview. When two people can outline in detail what they want from their professional lives, it’s possible to understand each other on a deeper level. Likewise, you can gain keen insight into a person’s thought processes, level of ambition, and potential earning power just by having this kind of a talk.

Housework

It might seem like a minor detail to some, but couples need to work out how they feel about dividing household chores. Married people who get along well tend to have a detailed set of rules for who does what and when they do it. In modern times, there are all forms of arrangements. The crucial point, though, is that you and your mate have a system that you both agree to. If this is your first time in a serious relationship, experiment with different ways to divvy up the tasks and see which method works the best. There’s nothing wrong with trial and error until you hit on a system that seems perfect.

Budgeting

Money-related disagreements are the source of far too many break-ups, and they don’t have to be. One of the problems is that emotions tend to cloud the human thinking process, and otherwise intelligent adults skip over details that are extremely important for long-term relationship success. Having the money talk should be one of your top priorities when you are on the verge of making a serious commitment. What is the talk about, and what’s the most efficient way to begin? Decide how you’ll save, spend, and budget your money. Will you do it jointly or maintain separate accounts? There are many more questions, but those two are the ideal place to begin. Give yourselves two or three sessions to iron out all the financial details.

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