In this article, we will talk about if your date looks nothing like their dating pic. Also, we’ll discuss a few tips and tricks to avoid or handle such situations.
If you are on an online dating app, this is an eventuality that your date may not look like their dating pic at a real meeting. This you may well encounter at some point. If you’ve not yet had the particular pleasure of arriving at a first date only to discover that your potential match is totally unrecognizable from their pictures, then here’s how to handle it – or, if it has happened to you before, use these tips in case you come face to face with such situation again.
What to do if your date looks nothing like their dating pic?
Do some digging
A person usually tries to put their best foot in front, therefore, a person always sets the best dating app photos to get more attention. Dating app photos are the best example of “appearance can be deceptive”. Hence, it is always recommended to do some digging beforehand.
Taking some preventative action can be a good idea, and if you’re subtle, your date will never know that you are mining for information about their photos. You do not need to be rude or out front in the beginning, but as you move along, you can always consider transparency as an important thing to seek; the same works for the other person.
As part of a chat, you can always ask about the online pics included in the profile of their dating app. If you don’t want to look like a detective, you can always beat around the bushes for starters.
For example, if they have posted an image of themselves at a festival, you can ask which bands were on the bill, where it took place, and – crucially – what year it was. This is a great way of checking just how old the pictures are. You can also show interest in the festival or occasion that the picture was taken on. Building trust through shared interests is a great way to get closer and avoid doubts.
In modern times, the majority of people generally suffer from trust issues which makes it very difficult for them to believe what is told in an indirect conversation. At such times, if it doesn’t work out and also if you can not find a way to subtly enquire as to the age of the pics on their profile, don’t be shy about being more direct. It does not always work against you, and at times, it also works in favor of you. It showcases your confidence, the only key is your tone. If you can be out front yet polite, it will turn the ball in your court.
So, you must be polite about it: simply mention that your own pictures are very recent and ask if theirs are, too. You can simply ask if or not they are using their old or outdated picture in their dating profiles. Have a look at this article for more tips on how to go about discreetly digging for info as to the veracity of someone’s pictures.
Another way to dig out information could be more subtle and rather humorous. your sense of humor comes in here. instead of asking directly or indirectly, you can always simply make jokes about how you’ve turned up for previous first dates and not recognized the person you were meant to meet as their dating pics didn’t match their reality. This should weed out those folk hiding behind a disingenuous profile.
Snapchat can be your friend as well as your enemy.
Snapchat as your friend
In case you have been chatting with a potential date for a few days, then consider asking them for their Snapchat. Ask if they use Snapchat and if you can add them. Since people today share daily snaps of their activities to maintain streak records, this becomes a great way to view their current pictures. This will help you to check out how similar to their profile pics your person looks in real life.
Share some photos over a few days to build up the streak keep track of their life and get a really good idea of what your match looks like.
Snapchat as your enemy
As every coin has two sides to it, Snapchat also can worsen the case at times. Since Snapchat provides a variety of filters and people are getting used to it day by day, it becomes an enemy when comes to catfishing and deception. People click and share only those photos and videos that are done through Snapchat filters.
Have A Plan
So, now that we know that there is a possibility that the Tom Hardy, lookalike that you’ve matched with and are meeting at the pub next Friday night doesn’t, actually, look, Tom Hardy-esque, what to do about it? This is where a plan comes in. Preparing for the eventuality that your date looks not a jot as advertised will be key to how you’re able to handle the situation.
Firstly, if, when you walk into the meeting venue, you discover that your date looks so far removed from their photos as to be unrecognizable, you may want to bail out; if you think that there’s a possibility that all of their photos are total fakes, then this could be a good move.
1. Stick It Out
If, however – and much more likely – they have simply gone overboard in using flattering filters and angles, or have put up photos that are way out of date, then you have two options, depending on what you feel comfortable doing. You may want to give the date a shot.
You never know; you might get on amazingly well with this person and develop a spark notwithstanding the initial shock and possible disappointment. It could be a good idea, though, to politely mention that you hadn’t recognized them as they look so different from how they appear in their pictures. Although it’s worth being aware that some folk may not even realize how off their mark their photos are, especially if they’ve been using the same ones for a while.
2. Bail Out
…or you’re absolutely within your rights to bail out of the date. If a serious photo infringement has occurred, then it is reasonable to (again, politely) explain that you don’t wish to continue with the date due to their abject lack of resemblance to their pics. Of course, you’ll need to be mindful that this will probably cause them to hurt, so tread with care.
- Fake a boss call
Change the name of one of your friends to ‘Boss’ in your contact list and tell them to constantly call you. Don’t pick up the first two calls, but when your boss calls again, answer it and claim it to be crucial. Talk in a way that will make it apparent that it is a serious matter that requires immediate attention. There you go; excuse yourself by declaring that a work-related emergency has arisen.
- Fake feeling unwell
Take control of the issue yourself if all of your friends decide to leave you and no one returns your messages. Start becoming restless, as though you are unable to focus on the date. When they inquire whether you’re fine, use the restroom a few times before politely explaining that you need to go right away since you’re feeling very ill.
- Fake an emergency situation
There are plenty of messages available. Just seem astonished and say there is an emergency at home and that you need to get back as soon as you receive a text message, which could be anything. Inform them that it is not necessary for them to drop you off or come along because you would already be too involved in the issue. Be sure to project tension.
- Simply move out/ Excuses
Though this is the easiest way to get away from the scene, yet the most inhumane as well. Act as though you need to use the restroom. Or just leave the area while stating on your phone that there is a network issue. Although it is really harsh, this can be helpful. Also, if you are uncertain about encountering such a situation and plan to use this as an excuse to get out of it, try to avoid carrying huge bags because it lessens your chances of doing so.
Get in their shoes
Imagine if the roles were reversed. What if the other person thought you weren’t attractive and wanted to cancel?
Even though that sounds harsh if you were in the other person’s shoes, wouldn’t you want to know something? Or perhaps you just want to move on after being rejected. Your dating app pics obviously don’t look exactly like you; that’s just the nature of the business. If you think like this, you might want to refrain from speaking.
Therefore, act modestly and do no such thing as you can’t take up on your own selves.
Why is it normal?
When so much depends on the personal profile, it is simple to see people exaggerating their physical features. Some online daters utilize images from past years when they were thinner, or just images that exaggerate their attractiveness. Everyone lies to appear more appealing.
Some people genuinely believe that if they can just obtain a date, they can charm their way into someone’s heart. Some people are delusional and believe they still look the same, while others still struggle with the realization that they no longer resemble their younger selves.
Others criticize the lack of images despite living with a camera in their pocket most of the time. Keep your profile photos up-to-date (no older than 2 years) and ensure that your height, facial hair, hair color, and hairdo are accurate to prevent being accused of catfishing.
What We’ve Learned
Ok, so we’ve looked at the difference between someone who uses their most flattering shots and the offenders who post outdated photos to their profile from the distant past or manipulate photos to a major extent, and some of the ways to avoid this and to deal with it should it arise.
It’s also important to point out that, in the interests of fair play, we also should be making sure that our photos best represent our true personalities. Sure, in our heads, we have cat ears and bear an uncanny resemblance to Jennifer Lawrence…but it may not be the best idea to tweak our pics to further bring out these ‘elements.’
Only post recent snaps, avoid the use of filters, especially those that significantly obscure your natural looks, and then rest easy in the knowledge that no one you date will ever end up reading a post like this one.