What to do if Your Date Looks Nothing Like Their Dating Pic

3 mins read
Happy hipsters couple on date. Stylish girl laugh with smartphone in hands. Man and woman spend time outdoors having rest after skateboarding, laugh from funny videos in social media or mobile apps
Source: By DimaBerlin/ Shutterstock

If you’re in the online dating game, this is an eventuality that you may well encounter at some point. If you’ve not yet had the particular pleasure of arriving at a first date only to discover that your potential match is totally unrecognizable from their pictures, then here’s how to handle it – or, if it’s happened to you before, use these tips should you literally come face to face with the situation again.

Do Some Digging Beforehand

Taking some preventative action can be a good idea, and if you’re subtle, your date will never know that you’re mining for information about their photos. As part of a chat, ask about the pics included in their profile – if they’ve posted an image of themselves at a festival, for example, ask which bands were on the bill, where it took place, and – crucially – what year it was. This is a great way of checking just how old the pictures are.

If this doesn’t work out, or you can’t find a way to subtly enquire as to the age of the pics on their profile, don’t be shy about being more direct: you can be polite about it: simply mention that your own pictures are very recent and ask if their’s are, too. Have a look at https://www.top10.com/dating/guide-for-when-date-looks-nothing-like-profile-pic for more tips on how to go about discreetly digging for info as to the veracity of someone’s pictures. You could even make a joke about how you’ve turned up for previous first dates and not recognized the person you’re meant to be meeting. This should weed out those folk hiding behind a disingenuous profile.

Snapchat Is Your Friend

If you’ve been chatting to a potential date for a few days, then consider asking them if they use Snapchat and, if so, if you can add them. This is a great way to view current pictures so that you can check out how similar to their profile pics your person looks in real life. Share some photos over a few days to build up a really good idea of what your match looks like.

Have A Plan

So, now that we know that there is a possibility that the Tom Hardy, https://www.imdb.com/name/nm0362766/, lookalike that you’ve matched with and are meeting at the pub next Friday night doesn’t, actually, look, Tom Hardy-esque, what to do about it? This is where a plan comes in. Preparing for the eventuality that your date looks not a jot as advertised will be key to how you’re able to handle the situation.

Firstly, if, when you walk into the meeting venue, you discover that your date looks so far removed from their photos as to be unrecognizable, you may want to bail out; if you think that there’s a possibility that all of their photos are total fakes, then this could be a good move.

Stick It Out

If, however – and much more likely – they have simply gone overboard in using flattering filters and angles, or have put up photos that are way out of date, then you have two options, depending on what you feel comfortable doing. You may want to give the date a shot. You never know; you might get on amazingly well with this person and develop a spark notwithstanding the initial shock and possible disappointment. It could be a good idea, though, to politely mention that you hadn’t recognized them as they look so different from how they appear in their pictures…although it’s worth being aware that some folk may not even realize how off their mark their photos are, especially if they’ve been using the same ones for a while.

Bail Out

…or you’re absolutely within your rights to bail out of the date. If a serious photo infringement has occurred, then it is reasonable to (again, politely) explain that you don’t wish to continue with the date due to their abject lack of resemblance to their pics. Of course, you’ll need to be mindful that this will probably cause them hurt, so tread with care.

What We’ve Learned

Ok, so we’ve looked at the difference between someone who uses their most flattering shots and the offenders that post pics to their profile from the distant past or manipulate photos to a major extent, and some of the ways to avoid this and to deal with it should it arise.

It’s also important to point out that, in the interests of fair play, we also should be making sure that our photos best represent our true personalities. Sure, in our heads, we have cat ears and bear an uncanny resemblance to Jennifer Lawrence…but it may not be the best idea to tweak our pics to further bring out these ‘elements.’

Only post recent snaps, and avoid the use of filters, especially those that significantly obscure your natural looks, and then rest easy in the knowledge that no-one you date will ever end up reading a post like this one. 

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